There's a Smarter Way to Sell Drugs Than on Instagram, You Guys.

Listen up class, today we’re going to talk about operational security when dealing in the sale of illegal substances. 

We’ve come a long way from the days of buying damp mushrooms in a Ziplock bag from some sketchy guy behind the local high school. We have branded, flavored drugs of all shapes and sizes in fancy bags all over the country. Even the whippits taste like candy now. It’s a new era of getting high, and I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be a kid faced with such choices, but that’s a topic for another day. 

This massive evolution has led to the creation of numerous black market brands and events that wouldn’t have dared to exist 10 years ago, which is awesome. It’s a beautiful, fat middle finger to the drug war overlords. However, a weird side effect of this is that we seem to have been lulled into a false sense of security when really the penalties haven’t changed and the cops are still gunning for us. The only difference is that it’s a hell of a lot easier to find and arrest people when we’re running our brands through Instagram and Telegram rather than relying on word of mouth and a burner phone. 

Please hear me when I say that you are not safe (yet), and that the way some of you are running your operations may actively be pushing us towards a future where we will never be protected by the law. I have some very simple rules I’d like to propose so that you can continue making money and spreading the love of psychedelics without getting arrested or pushing legislators even further away from rescheduling, descheduling, or decriminalization. They are as follows: Stop selling at events, don’t get caught, and run your business like it will be legal one day.

Plain Shirts: The Long Dick of the Law

We really need to talk about the backpack trapping and brand engagement at psychedelic events. It’s a problem. 

Now, to be clear, I think it’s great that we can have psychedelics events at all. I do not want to discourage event participation or taking advantage of obvious marketing opportunities. It just seems that we’ve become a little too comfortable operating in broad daylight when most of us should be keeping to the shadows — and I’m strictly referring to the sales of psychedelics, to be clear.

It seems to me that we have two issues: a false presumption of safety and/or a lack of concern about getting caught. Please understand that, objectively, you are not safe, and even if you’re not afraid of prison time, you will not be the only one affected. The entire community and movement as a whole suffer if you get caught, not to mention you will almost certainly be subjected to all manner of high-pressure coercion tactics to get you to flip and snitch on your fellow dealers, and most people can’t withstand that. 

The reality is, every time we have an event centered around psychedelics, it sends out a homing beacon to undercover cops and plain shirts. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Patrick, I’ve never seen somebody get arrested at an event.” Of course you haven’t! The feds move far more methodically and slowly than that when they’re building a case. I don’t want you to end up in court one day, only to have your stomach drop when you realize you sold mushrooms to an undercover cop three years ago and they’ve had you under surveillance ever since. 

It's also worth noting that they probably wouldn’t arrest you at the actual event. It would blow their cover and ruin any chance they have of flipping their detainee into a snitch. Hell, I think it’s also worth mentioning that we vastly underestimate how many people in the community we regularly engage with have already flipped. I hate to be the wet blanket in the room, but some of you need a reminder that the feds are paying more attention than we’d like to admit, and you should still be employing the same covert business practices actual drug dealers have always relied on. 

Just Don’t Fucking Get Caught

Every single psychedelic dealer that gets arrested makes the movement as a whole look like a clown show to the feds. We need to prove that we’re capable of being responsible if we ever want some form of federal psychedelic legalization or decriminalization. Weed is legal in over half the country, and every time a trick-or-treater gets Delta-8 edibles in their bag by accident — and 18 media organizations cover the same story about it happening — I wince, just waiting for the day that Supreme Leader Trump decides to start raiding dispensaries simply because he can. 

I’m not telling you to stop selling drugs; by all means, sell as many as you can and stack cash. I’m just begging you to remember that there’s more at stake here than a personal prison sentence. We have branded products now, and god forbid a kid gets ahold of that and dies or does something violent. Not only is the packaging easily traceable to your brand, I can just see J.D. Vance — who can only be described as a modern-day Nancy Reagan with more eye shadow — holding up the packaging and declaring to the world that the National Guard would not rest until every psychedelic salesman had been relocated to El Salvador. 

So, in the name of all that is holy on God’s green Earth: Please stop promoting your brand on social media. It is insane. All of these social media platforms cooperate with the authorities to some degree. They store every DM you’ve ever sent, every OnlyFans model you’ve stared at for too long, and every single interaction you make. Stop making the DEA’s job easier. Hell, you shouldn’t even be using smartphones. You can buy a basic burner phone for like $50 USD. And I cannot emphasize this next part enough: USING TELEGRAM FOR SALES IS NOT PROTECTING YOU AT ALL. Use Signal and put your messages on “disappearing mode” if you’re going to use anything. It is pretty much the only recognized end-to-end encrypted messaging service that doesn’t hand over every inch of information about you in response to a subpoena. That’s because even Signal’s executives and developers don’t have access to a lot of sensitive information, like your messages and calls, which most subpoenas typically ask for. It only provides the minimal user data it actually stores: the date and time an account was created, your phone number (which is problematic!), and the last date a user connected to the service. But the app stores virtually no metadata. According to its website, Signal “does not have access to messages, calls, contacts, or other data because of its strong end-to-end encryption and privacy-focused architecture.”

Still, there’s a lot of room for error in all wifi drug sales. The better option is to use distributors. Make sure they’re all solid and know how to avoid the police. Use events to connect with people and do business off premises at a later time. Make damn sure no one under 18 has access to your products. Be wary of snitches in the community. Take every available measure to protect your privacy online, and above all, keep yourselves safe from legal prosecution by keeping an attorney on retainer and creating an exact plan with them on what to do if (or when) you find yourself in handcuffs. It is not only in your best interest — it’s in everyone’s.

Psychedelics are Going to be Huge, Act Accordingly

On the flip side, we must also remember that psychedelics will be a multi-billion-dollar industry one day. No one deserves a slice of that pie more than the men and women currently putting themselves at extreme legal risk to push the movement forward and put psychedelics in the hands of people who need and want them.

All of this amateur hour drug dealing is short-sighted. You’re taking felony risks for a few dollars in profit instead of looking forward to the day when you can potentially have a legal brand worth millions of dollars. That groundwork should start right here, right now.

The truth is, you should attend every event you can. Not to sling a few tabs, but to build brand awareness, community, and forge relationships with like-minded collaborators. Sales are the smallest, but riskiest part of this work. Building a brand with longevity is a better investment of your time and energy.

Our brand owners should be establishing themselves as advocates and experts above all. They should be dialing in their logos and brand voice with the future in mind. I don’t necessarily expect mushrooms to be sold at Costco, but on the off-chance we live to see that day, I feel compelled to point out that there’s not a single package in Costco with tie-dye or little cartoons of mushrooms with melting faces. I am not anti tie-dye, I’m just saying the brands that get the biggest are the ones that appeal to everybody and do a lot of legwork outside of product distribution. Establish yourself as an expert and your brand as one that everyone from heroic-dosing wooks to mildly depressed PTA moms can trust and depend on. It just might make you filthy rich one day if we all play our cards right. 

We all know that psychedelics do not compare to other Schedule One substances, like heroin.  However, I beg you to remember that half our congressmen wouldn’t be able to read an entire page of Harry Potter if compelled to. They are filled with too much silicone to form a complete thought, they are richer than God, and they are dangerous. We need to go out of our way to show them that we are capable of operating responsibly outside of legal purview, or we will never be permitted to enter the legal sphere. 

I love that we’ve evolved into a market with actual brands. Just please remember that experiencing this rapid evolution doesn’t mean the basic rules of drug dealing have changed. Please operate your businesses accordingly, and as always, please trip responsibly.

💌 If you loved this email, forward it to a psychonaut in your life.

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